April 17 2014, 1pm
A robot who hates humans and their weakness decides to become a mortician so he can have work he loves then breaks down his first day because "Why would this man block a car from someone else didn't he know it would kill him, why are humans so fragile yet so willing to do this?" So the robot quits and starts trying to protect humans he considers extra fragile so now this old lady has a robot following her going "Are you ok? Be careful of that step. Watch out for that hole. Are you still ok?"
April 17 2014, 11am
My dad just yelled “I SWEAR I’LL CUT OFF WHAT’S LEFT OF YOUR DICK IF YOU FUCKING TOUCH MY COKE DON’T YOU DARE” and I came in the room like what the fuck and it was my dad holding up a shoe and my cat sitting by a glass of coca-cola with his paw almost touching inside of it and both of them didn’t even break eye contact with each other
I’m so done with my life
April 17 2014, 9am
to all you 14 year old american girls who say ‘if i had a british accent i would never stop talking’ i hope you wake up with a very strong yorkshire accent and see how you like that
fuck you my yorkshire accent shines like the light of a thousand suns i hope you get sat on by a cow
Shine bright like a Yorkshire accent.
I’m not even sure which one I’m reblogging this for.
I hope you get sat on by a cow
April 17 2014, 5am
I’ve realized that you can’t really hack someone’s tumblr like you can on Facebook. On Facebook you can update a status to say, “I like dick in the eyeball,” and everyone would be freaked out. On tumblr, people would be like, “yeah man me too.” Then post a gif from supernatural.